1. Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, and cross the road again?
Because it was a dirty double crosser.
2. I had a lot of stuff to do today. Now I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.
3. Why is it called possession of marijuana and not joint custody?
4. I just bought a year membership for the gym and now my bank is calling to see if my credit card was stolen.
5. Why did the teddy bear want to stop eating?
Because it was stuffed.
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