1. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
Because all the fans left.
2. To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office I will find you, you have my word!
3. 8 bees can kill you but if you add one more you're safe. Because it's bee 9.
4. Why did the orchestra get struck by lightning?
It had a strong conductor.
5. Did you hear about the exotic dancer who fell off the stage?
She's collecting twerkman's comp.
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