Face Palm Jokes Of The Day 9-2

 1.  Last night, I went to a hotel and shouted, "Your wife is coming."  Sixteen men ran out of their rooms.  I'll go back again today.

2.  Someone in New York gets stabbed every 55 seconds.  That poor guy.

3.  So you're telling me when a baby crawls across the floor looking for its bottle, it's cute but when I do it, I need an intervention.

4.  Received a text from my partner saying she was breaking up with me.  Imagine how relieved I was when a couple minutes later she texted "Sorry wrong number."

5.  Me: "Hi do you take walk-ins?"  The morgue, "what?"