1. What does garlic do when it gets hot?
It takes it's cloves off.
2. My wife accused me of having zero empathy....I just don't understand how she could feel that wya.
3. If I had a dollar for everytime Algebra has helped me in real life I'd have x dollars.
4. I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.
5. My wife said she'd leave me if I didn't stop with the photography puns. I said "Snap out of it. Don't be so negative. Let's see how things develop." She then left in a flash.
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