1. Called my dad to pick me up from this sleepover I didn't like and he said "No. Because you're 39 and that's your wife and kids."
2. I've adopted a pet termite and I'm calling him Clint...Clint Eats Wood.
3. I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not too for sure.
4. If I worked in a used record store, I would tell every customer all sales are vinyl.
5. I used to hate facial hair, then it grew on me.
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