1. Why don't you iron a four-leaf clover?
Because you don't want to press your luck.
2. She says I keep pushing her buttons but if that were true, I'd have found mute by now.
3. Why was the ophthalmologist called to testify?
He was the only eye witness.
4. This lady is calling for her son "Marco" in Costco and my self-control is hanging by a thread.
5. Did you hear about the constipated composer?
He had problems with his last movement.
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